What does the Torah say about age for work and marriage.

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Re: What does the Torah say about age for work and marriage.

Postby Enora » Tue Jan 11, 2011 12:52 pm

but a man aged 30 who has not married must have found some outlet for his desires that is sufficient for him to continue unmarried. This reduces the motivation to make a commitment to married life.


I'm not sure I agree with all of your theory. I definitely prefer yours to poster's. It has more nuance lol.
I do however agree with the above comment.
Men over 30 that are single have found "other" outlets that satisfy them and after having so many "possibilities", they no longer tolerate the imperfections of one woman... because all of a sudden they think they've become some incredible catch (well that's what their mother's keep telling them every evening when they eat at her house for dinner...)

The thing is, if you're not in a environment where just about everyone marries early, you probably won't either. Especially if you're pursuing advanced studies and by the time you can actually earn a living, you're in your mid to late 20's. 30 creeps around pretty quick...
This is true especially for women. Getting married means having kids... and having kids while in college isn't easy. You have a huge disadvantage compared to single childless classmates. Sometimes the teachers themselves are rough on women with children. You also have less time with your child and it probably won't get any better with time. Once you're done with college you get a job... then you get your own medical office, a lawyer partnership etc... and you have even less time with your kids.
I chose to study then marry. I married at 27 and had my son at 30. I won't be having 10 kids. I never wanted 10 kids though. That's not for me.
However I did my thing in my 20's , I can sit down and take the time I want now. I can spend the whole day coloring with my almost 4 yr old and not feel depressed that I haven't had an adult conversation in years!
I also know women that have the "frum fantasy" of having many children but are totally not cut out for it with a brood of problem kids you're under the impression they can't stand (if it weren't for all the Bli ayn Hara's and Baruch Hashems that keep coming out of their mouths)
The good time to marry is when you meet the person that treats you right. The right amount of kids is the amount you feel you can raise with patience and love. Those two are the EASY part.
The hard part is figuring out what you really want , if it's good for you and if you'll be smart enough to seize the occasion at the right time.
Enora
 
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